Where is Nirvana?
When I was a little girl, I used to
imagine that Nirvana was the most beautiful place in heaven where handsome gods
and gorgeous goddesses in their glittering costume lived and we normal people
could never get there because it was beyond our reach. People who could get
there were the Buddha and all the old privileged Buddhist monks. I believe that
most Buddhists still think so. My mythical image changed when I learnt the
teaching of the late teacher Ven. Buddhadasa of Suan Mokkh, the forest
monastery in Chaiya, Surajthanee province. I was very surprised to hear the
late teacher say that Nirvana was not a heaven but it could mean cool element.
I was then twenty years of age and a student at Thammasat University who had
just gone through the horrendous crackdown on students, the event of October 14th
1973. As a result, my heart was taken over by numerous questions about life in
general. I was desperate for someone to tell me why those good-hearted young
ambitious students who wanted to help the country were murdered. I began to
question what the true meaning of life was. I especially wanted to know what
ultimate truth was. Having met the late Ven. Buddhadasa and Suan Mokkh, I felt
that I was a bit closer to ultimate truth, though I still did not have much of
an idea what it was. The political upheaval, which caused death to my fellow
students, as well as my own personal problems, had plunged me into deep
depression and created so much pain in my heart that I needed to relieve them
somehow. That was the reason why I held tightly on to the meditation technique
that Suan Mokkh had taught me because it took some of my pain away. It has now
been 25 years.
Although not every
question has been answered, I have managed to answer some of them. They are
however enough to enable me to lead a fulfilled life which fits in with the
Thai saying that I am lucky to be born as a human and meet Buddhism. To pass on
my knowledge is one way that I can show my humble gratitude to all my spiritual
teachers, especially the Buddha.
I can now relate that
the ultimate truth and Nirvana is in fact the same thing. Besides, I also know
that Nirvana is not a beautiful place in heaven reserved only for the Buddha
and privileged people like old monks, and to which normal people like us cannot
go. As a matter of fact, Nirvana is right here in front of us. The only trouble
is we cannot see it. This is something that I could never think of in the past
and dared not even think so. That’s why the Buddha said that those who had
little dust in their eyes could see it. The following comparison may help
readers to have a better understanding.
I believe readers know
about magic eye pictures in which a beautiful three-dimensional picture is
hidden within a two dimensional pattern. If we place such a picture in front of
us, although the three-dimensional image is right here in front of us, we can’t
see it. Should we want to see it for the first time, we need to learn a skill.
One of the popular techniques is by placing the whole picture close to our
face, relax our eyes and slowly distance the picture away from our face.
Gradually the beautiful three-dimensional picture will be revealed. The
unskillful person might not be able to sustain the three-dimensional picture
very long before it disappears from sight. The skillful people, who quite often
are children, might only need to relax their eyes a bit and they can easily see
the hidden three-dimensional picture. Nevertheless, there are some people who
can never master the skill and cannot appreciate the beauty of the hidden
picture.
The above comparison works exactly the same for
whether or not we can see Nirvana. Nirvana is not an issue that we can tackle
with our thoughts to understand. We can think whatever we want about the image
of ten red tulips in three-dimensions. We also know that the image we think of
is nowhere near the actual image. In the same way, to understand Nirvana is a
matter of finding the true experience and definitely not about reasoning in the
intellectual manner. To be more precise, I would like to stress for the moment
that we can truly see Nirvana with our naked eyes just like we can see a hidden
three-dimensional picture. The difference is that the hidden three-dimensional
picture is not the same as the two dimensional one, whilst Nirvana and our
normal sight are exactly the same image. We sit two persons in front of a vase
filled with different flowers, one knows nothing about the four foundations of
awareness and the other is either at the third level of holiness (Phra Anagami)
or the fourth level of holiness (Phra Arahant). We let the two persons look at
the same vase with flowers, the first one cannot see Nirvana but the other can.
Both Phra Anagami and Phra Arahant can see Nirvana whilst they look at the
vase. The difference is that Phra Anagami cannot sustain seeing Nirvana all the
way through like Phra Arahant. He will lose sight of Nirvana just as those
unskillful persons lose sight of the three-dimensional picture. Phra Arahant
can see Nirvana without having to make any extra effort. It has become his
nature. This is just a very brief explanation for the reader to capture the
precise concept of Nirvana.
We can equally say
that seeing Nirvana is the easiest as well as the most difficult matter at the
same time. It is easy because it is right here in front of us. It is difficult
because if something is right here in front of our nose and we cannot see it,
what else can be more difficult than this? This is indeed a matter of a single
hair hindering a whole mountain, as in the Thai saying. It is far too simple until
we totally overlook it. Those who can see Nirvana know that it is indeed a very
simple matter. Those who cannot see have to face great difficulties until they
have to travel through the different realms of samsara for a long time just to
hope that maybe all the accumulated good karma or parami will enable them to
see Nirvana in one of their future lives. This is how unique Nirvana is.
Finally, we reach the
essential question of how we can prepare ourselves to see Nirvana. In the same
way that we have to learn a technique to see the hidden three-dimensional
picture, we have to learn a skill to see the hidden Nirvana. The most direct
technique that the Buddha taught all sentient beings in samsara (reincarnation)
is called vipassana-bhavana or the four foundations of awareness. The
practitioner must find one or two techniques that suit his or her personality
and stick with them. One of the popular techniques is mindfulness with
breathing. Walking meditation is also very effective if one can master the
skill. Veteran practitioners will be taught to observe the arising and passing
away of thoughts and other mental formations. All these are the different
techniques we have to learn and master if we want to see the hidden Nirvana. It
is like learning how to drive or holding the picture at the right angle so that
we can see the hidden three–dimensional picture. All these meditation skills
are not about reasoning but about learning a new habit. We all have a habit of
having excessive thoughts while we engage in activities throughout the day e.g.
walking, eating, etc. The new habit resulting from meditation skill is for us
to have fewer thoughts so that we can just do the walking, just eating and so
on.
I would like to
encourage people that Nirvana is not as far as we think. We only need to find
the right access to it. Thanks to the Buddha that he told us the short cut to
Nirvana. Those who have never heard about the four foundations of awareness
must find experts and quickly learn from them. Please be very patient and keep
on with the practice, there will be a day that the hidden Nirvana will be
revealed to us. If it doesn’t happen this life time, at least the right effort
we have done in this life will be carried on to our next incarnation and there
will be a time when we will definitely see Nirvana. Seeing Nirvana permanently
and reaching the end of all suffering are indeed the same thing.