Chapter one

A boost to your confidence

 

Are you meeting the requirements?

 

      I hope you have already begun your journey to the ultimate goal of life, by doing your very best to meet the requirements I set out for you in The User Guide to Life. If so, well done. I am very proud of you.

 

You will also have found out that it isnt at all easy to meet those basic requirements. You will know by now that your mind doesnt always do as it is told and that you dont always have enough inner strength to follow those commands through. You will also have dealt with a lot of confusion, not knowing the right thing to do, or what to do next. Above all, by now you must have a very good feeling for the law of change, which governs everything, from your own thoughts and feelings to the world surrounding you and beyond.

 

This law of change is the main reason for the extra difficulties during the first part of your spiritual journey. One day you might feel strong and inspired to do the right thing. The next day, you might feel the total opposite: lethargic, weak and just wanting to give in to your unhealthy thoughts. Dont worry; you are not alone. It is quite normal to feel this way.   Everyone, who is walking the path to the ultimate enlightenment or to The Kingdom of God, has to face this kind of inner dilemma all the time.

 

This book aims to help you to tackle the heart of this problem - your constantly changing mind.

 

 Why is a spiritual journey very difficult?

Although I have left you with the last confidence-booster, I feel however, that it is necessary to give you yet another boost of trust in your guide before we continue the rest of our journey. You must have realized by now that this is not just any trip; this is about the journey which will take you to the ultimate goal of life. I know it must sound surreal to you but this is exactly what I am offering you on this journey. Therefore, having high confidence in your guide is of the utmost importance. Not to mention the spiritual guide, if you simply want to go to a remote island in the Pacific where you have never been before, you must have high confidence in your map, guide or navigator. You cannot afford to take any chances at all because you know you may get lost. A spiritual journey to the ultimate goal of life is a much more complex matter. If you get lost during a physical journey, you will find out sooner or later and try to find the right way to your destination. This is not the case as far as the spiritual journey to the ultimate goal of life is concerned. It is because you cannot always identify your problem and therefore you dont know whether you are being lost in the spiritual jungle or not. Even if you do know you are lost, as long as you dont have an enlightened teacher guiding the way out for you, you will never make your way to the ultimate destination either. Every spiritual teacher can teach only of what they know but cannot teach more than what they know. Only the enlightened teacher can lead you all the way to the ultimate destination of life.

 

The Buddhas teachers were lost in the spiritual jungle too.

When the Buddha reached his ultimate enlightenment and decided to teach; the first two persons he thought of were his meditation teachers.  Alara and Uddaka, had attained the highest level of meditation practice and taught the young prince Siddhartha everything they knew. They also knew that they hadnt yet found the ultimate truth, which could end all suffering but could not do anything about it. As far as the ultimate truth is concerned, if you dont know, it means you dont know. You will know by way of being guided by an enlightened person, adopt the practice as guided and carry on with the practice until attaining the enlightenment yourself. That is the only way to do it. Thats why the two meditation teachers had to rely on the enlightenment of the young prince. Only with the help of the Buddha, could they be free from this tiresome samsara or the cycle of rebirth. Indeed, it was a great shame that by the time of the Princes enlightenment and becoming a Buddha, the two teachers had just passed away and were reborn in a Brahma world, which had very long life span. They had indeed missed the golden opportunity of listening to the teaching of the Buddha and become enlightened themselves. This is a great shame to those who truly understand the significance of ultimate enlightenment and permanently leave the tedious samsara behind.

     

 What I have done between then and now

This is the reason why it is so important to have high confidence in your spiritual guide. Your faith will help your mind to root deeper and will speed up your journey to your final destination. Thus, I am going to tell you a bit more about what had happened in my life after I had finished the first part of this book in the early months of 2000 up until now.   

 

Writing a book during conflict

As for me, I had written another two books during these three years. Right after I had finished the English version of the first part of this book, I began writing the Thai version right away. During that time while I was writing, because of the changes in my heart that was not at all easy for anyone to understand, I went through a great deal of conflict with my husband. There was a major thing in our married life that we could not agree on and the tension went on for a few months. The word divorce was said a few times around the end of year 2000. I decided to make a plan to go back to Thailand and intended to stay much longer than before so that we could give each other some space, reflect on our problems and hopefully resolve them. I bought a six months plane ticket and cancelled my summer term teaching. Although my husband and I were on good terms a couple months before my trip in April 2001, I still went ahead with my original plan to stay for the whole three months. Because I wanted some quiet time on my own so that I could complete writing that book without having to juggle alongside the housework too. That was the longest stay I had ever done, apart from my very first trip some 20 years ago when I took my first born to see my family, and stayed for three months.  With the help of my attorney friend, Noi, who went through lots of trouble to find me different ideal places where I could write in peace, I managed to complete the book while I was there. It took me nearly twelve months to complete the seven hundred pages of Koo Meu Cheewit, the Thai version of The User Guide to Life with three hundred pages more than the English version.

 

The publications of my two books

During my time in Thailand from April to June 2001, I also took the chance to arouse my publisher into taking serious action on my works. This resulted in the publication of my two books, A Handful of Leaves and The User guide to Life (book one), which were released within six months of each other. Although these two books have been on sale only in Thailand, they have, however, put me in touch with many readers some of who were western tourists  passing through Thailand and some living in Thailand.  I have actually met quite a few of those readers later on in retreats, which I led. My emailing list is also getting longer as time moves on.

 

A bizarre event!

Before I returned to Britain in June 2001, my attorney friend, Noi, who had been my main and only supporter up to that point asked me to translate Can a Caterpillar be Perfect? into Thai for the benefit of our fellow Thai people.  As I was contemplating doing so, a bizarre event happened during the summer of 2001. What happened could be described as that I was more or less dictated, or I should say hand-tied, to write a book that I had never thought of before and had no intention to write whatsoever. My head was suddenly inundated with my own story relating to my past mental and spiritual experiences. I never liked the idea of writing an autobiography especially at an unripe age. It is all right if the person is old enough (60s plus) and had a great deal of experience and wisdom to share with others. Nevertheless, at that point, it seemed like I was going to take the hypocritical route and do the very thing that I was opposed to.  Although I was 47 at the time and can hardly say I was young, I still thought it wasnt the right age to write an autobiography. But why did I feel so compelled to do it? Please dont ask me who put such strong desire in my head and heart. My guess is as good as yours. I really didnt know then and still dont know now.  

 

It got weirder!

What was even more bizarre was that even the title of the book was given to me. When I thought I would play along with the confusing event in my head and get some clear idea of what I was supposed to do at the time, I asked: What do you want me to write?. As soon as the question ended, the answer shot straight into my head. The implication of the title startled me and left me feeling horrified! How weird could it get?!

I havent yet found the English equivalent to that Thai phrase. Nevertheless, the direct translation would be something like Boasting the dhamma, which truly exists within oneself. Indeed, it was a mouthful of a title no matter how I put it, even in the Thai language. 

Although the word boasting doesnt have very good connotations, it is the direct translation. The reason was the Buddha condemned and punished monks who boasted of attainments which they did not have. This issue touches a very profound level of Buddhist practice and only Buddhist scholars would know about such issue, but to what extent is still another matter, because it has everything to do with the achievements of meditation practice. It was ambiguous exactly which dhamma experience they referred to. I guess this must have referred to the higher state of spiritual experience. Anyway, monks who boasted about their non-existing spiritual attainments would have to bear the most severe punishment - being disrobed from the monkhood .

Nevertheless, it wasnt wrong if monks boasted about the spiritual experience, which actually existed within themselves.  Although the word boasting was still being used for the opposite sense, it actually meant announcing, proclaiming or simply talking about it. For example, the Buddha as well as his enlightened followers had to talk about the state of Nirvana, which they had attained to during their teaching. If the Buddha did not know it, or had not reached it, he could not teach about it, could he? Nor could his enlightened followers. This subject is not a very common issue nowadays because of its profoundness and also because it isnt easy to find anyone to verify the matter should a case occur. Lay Buddhists wouldnt understand much and even most Buddhist scholars would, however, like to connect this term with the most serious punishment of the monkhood order.

I first heard about this term being used some 27 years ago. A right hand monk to the abbot of a monastery was disrobed on the ground of boasting the spiritual experience, which did not exist within himself. I knew it was a very big accusation and I wanted to know more details about how his teacher managed to come to such a conclusion and so on. But the whole situation was very well wrapped and secretive. I couldnt get anyone, even a friend, who was in the inner circle of this temple, to talk or comment about it at all. When I asked, they made me feel like I was too nosey. All these tight-lipped business tended to add more intrigues and spice up the matter. I simply just wanted to understand. After that incident, however, I had never heard of this kind of serious matter again.

To my horror, I never thought that I would be the one who brought this most controversial title up in my own book. Indeed, life is full of surprises. I could have never guessed I would be doing this. 

 

Admit to my own madness!

   Thats why I was astounded and horrified when I first heard this title in my head after I asked for it. It was loud, clear and definite. I fought hard and dismissed that echo in my head as some rubbish thoughts and tried to chase Jerry out of my head. I made several attempts to discredit myself even admitting to my own insanity and madness. I fought to ignore this title for a few months but my attempts were in vain. There was no backing down from the other end. That decree was meant to stay firm until I had completed my task, which I found out much later.

I had every right to be alarmed by the given title of this book. Should I go ahead and use it as decreed, not to mention that the general public would look at the owner of such title as being extremely over confident and mad. The Buddhist critics would tear me to pieces. This is sheer suicide. It wouldnt be too far off from giving myself up for public execution. And who, in their right mind, wants to do that? Why did I want to strip my family and myself naked for peoples inspection? I know I might have had courage to talk and comment on certain things but certainly not about my life under that highly sensitive and potentially controversial title. It was the most bizarre experience I had come across so far.

 

Trying to understand myself

To cut the story short, I was hand-tied to work on this book for nearly another twelve months. The process of writing this book was very confusing during the first six months, as I was busy fighting with the decree in my head and didnt know what I was doing, which was very unprofessional for an author. It was also painful when I had to talk about some unpleasant family affairs. Not until the last four months of writing when everything began to fall into place,  could I understand more clearly why I had to write that book so suddenly and unexpectedly. There is also one more good reason, which you will find out very soon. I now realise that I was in a transitional period of change and this book was a means to help me to understand myself and all the extraordinary spiritual experiences that had happened to me in the past up to that very stage of my life. It was especially about confirming to myself about the nature of the ultimate truth, which before that point, I never really thought much about, apart from naturally dwell in it. That transitional period had stirred up a great deal of wisdom within myself and forced me to answer the most significant question regarding my entire work, which was whether or not I was self-deluded. I was guided into talking about the detailed encounters of certain experiences, that may benefit those who want to follow this path.

Maybe this was the main reason I was told to write. Had I not put them down in writing, they would have all  vanished. As time moves on, I realise I cannot remember a lot of the feelings and the struggle to get over them, especially the painful ones, simply because I dont feel it anymore. I can no longer remember the joy and all the nostalgic tangled feelings of listening to my favorite Thai music. They dont mean anything to me at all now. This significant change within myself is one of the main reasons that caused me to motivate myself to write because it can endanger the disappearance of the ultimate truth. I can easily see myself sit back and relax as if nothing really matters in the world, even human suffering.

I have moved on since then, and the stage I am now at is the result of that transitional period I mentioned above. As far as confirming the ultimate truth is concerned, I came out with greater conviction than I had before writing that book. I will translate this book into English when I can get around to it.  

 

Never assume anything!

      While I was writing that potentially controversial book in Britain, I was waiting attentively for the news from my publisher about their decision to print the Thai version of The User Guide to Life, which in Thai is pronounced Koo Meu Cheewit.  I was anxious to have this book published rather quickly because it contained all the practical advice which I wanted all my family and friends to read. The sooner they read it, the quicker they can endeavor on their spiritual journey as time is running out for everyone. That's how I view it anyway.

I assumed that my publisher would like to publish that book as a continuation of my work after the four previous books they had published for me, one in Thai and three in English. I had every reason to assume so because the owner of the publishing house had told me himself in one of our meetings in Bangkok during those three months of my stay. He said that he was particularly interested to publish my work in the Thai language. The first few months passed without any news. I phoned a few times and sent a few letters but still had no progress. I decided to ask my attorney friend, Noi, and a male reader, Pat, who emailed me and was willing to help me with my work, to have meetings with my publisher. After a few meetings, it was clear that my publisher could no longer help me with the publication of my work without any apparent explanation apart from financial difficulties. I got over this set back very quickly without any hard feeling and felt grateful to them in helping me deliver my thoughts to people up to that point. I also learnt not to assume anything.

      My two friends, Noi and Pat, helped me search for another publisher who was willing to take me under their wing. They finally found a rather new publishing house, which was rising to fame due to the publications of a few famous Buddhist books. After they read Koo Meu Cheewit, they agreed to print it for me but we (my friends and I) had to meet half of the printing cost. We didnt mind as long as they printed and sold the book for us. That is all that matters.

 

  Facing a huge challenge

I thought it was a good idea to have a well-known Thai person to put a positive view on this book, Koo Meu Cheewit . I approached a Buddhist critic as well as a monk who had produced much well known Buddhist literature. I asked him to write a foreword for Koo Meu Cheewit and he agreed. Although his foreword contained many positive views, as a foreword should be, it was also tainted with some criticism. On a separate sheet of paper, he wrote me a letter warning me, with the best intentions, about some sensitive sentences I had put  in my book. He pointed out a few places where he thought the use of words implied that I might have boasted about my spiritual experience! and I could be self-deluded!

Although he did not explain clearly whether I boasted about the existing or the non-existing spiritual achievement within myself, it was obvious that he referred to the latter one. If I were a monk, I would be asking for the harshest punishment.

That was indeed a massive challenge to my wisdom and my entire work. I might as well get used to it now, since I am sure there will be many more to come in the future after the publication of my books. It is important that I can stand up to this huge challenge once and for all. Otherwise, there will not be any book to write. Hence, my argument from this point onward is not for a particular person but for all future critics who may have the same view as the Buddhist critic I approached.

  After I went back to browse through Koo Meu Cheewit, which by then I had completed over 12 months before, I realised the critic did not grasp the true spirit of this book. In fact, this book was the continuation of my previous book, A Handful of Leaves, which had also been published in Thai. In A Handful of Leaves, I talked about my extraordinary experience happening while I was running my Tai chi class in the Autumn term of 1997. That was the first time I could talk about the state of Nirvana with great confidence. The User Guide to Life or Koo Meu Cheewit was the continuation of my previous spiritual achievement. To be able to understand The User Guide to Life, it is important that one must read my previous book too. Reading just the latter is not enough to make any sound judgment. Besides, I have created more English work than Thai, all my regular emails written in English to my students is my way to enhance the main concept in the books. Only a few Thai people have had the chance to read these recent works of mine.

 

My ultimate experience is the core of the book

What the Buddhist critic referred to as the very sensitive words and kindly asked me to remove them, was in fact, the core of the book. The User Guide to Life or Koo Meu Cheewit was based on the sole fact that I had known the ultimate experience. This fact was used as a foundation, upon which the whole structure of the book was built. Without that ultimate experience I claimed I knew, I wouldnt have anything to write about whatsoever. As I looked into it, I began to wonder whether the Buddhist critic had read the whole book or just simply browsed through it. Because he asked me to removed fewer than ten different words and phrases among the seven hundred pages, which was made up of hundreds of thousands of words. In fact, such sensitive words were smeared on every single page of this book whether they were direct or mere implications. The whole spirit of this book was based on this sole fact. Had I removed them as the critic had suggested, the whole structure of this book would have collapsed. Hence, what is the point to remove just a few of them? 

Besides, as far as revealing my ultimate experience was concerned, Koo Meu Cheewit was nothing comparing to the book I wrote after that.  The potentially controversial book I talked of earlier was meant to answer the ultimate question brought up by future critics Am I self-deluded?. It explains everything regarding the heart of this sensitive issue. Please dont ask me how I knew I needed to write a whole book just to answer that one question. That was the point, I didnt know then that I had to face such a challenge in the near future. The foreword of Koo Meu Cheewit arrived a few months after I had finished writing that potentially controversial book. Maybe thats why I was hand-tied to write that book. Nevertheless, should the latter book be published in the future too, there was even more reason not to make any changes in Koo Meu Cheewit at all. 

 With all the above reasons, I did not think the Buddhist critics foreword was appropriate for my book. Although there were praises, the critical content, no matter how short they were would undoubtedly plant the seedling of uncertainty in readers minds too prematurely. This impact would ruin the whole purpose of this book. Any criticism should be released following the publication of the book, printed separate from the book and definitely not within the book. I dont think there are any authors, no matter how open minded, who would allow a critical view in the front pages of their book.

Besides, Thai people are still very much thinking within the frame of traditional values. If they had to choose  between listening to a monk or a woman who still shares the same bed with her husband, on the subject of Buddhism, of course, I stand no chance whatsoever.

     

Reflecting on life after September 11

The incident about the Buddhist critics comments happened just five or six weeks before my husband and I went back to Thailand for a three weeks holiday in September 2002.

 After I returned from Thailand in June 2001, I realized that it was down to me to keep this family together, so I did my very best to compromise our differences and our family life began to slip back to its normality once again. The horrific event of September 11 2001 caused a lot of people not to take life for granted any more, and we should appreciate life all the more while we are alive. I was feeling just the same as others, if not more. Having put my husband through a lot of unhappiness during the previous two years, I tried to make it up to him. He had also been working very hard to provide for his family and I must admit I have been a much bigger spender than my husband had. I took a big chunk of his hard earned savings to invest into the publication of my first book some ten years ago. I thought he deserved to have a very good holiday. I then suggested we should have a holiday together, just the two of us and treated it as our 25th anniversary cerebration, which we put three years forward. A trendy decision after 9/11. 

I let him choose his ideal place of holiday and I would go along with it wherever it would be. He chose Thailand. It didnt surprise me at all. That would be his second trip to Thailand after our 22 years of marriage. So Thailand it was! We booked our holiday for mid September 2002, which was three months after my hysterectomy. As we were walking to the gate to board the plane, I suddenly realised that it was the first time my husband and I walked through the departure lounge at Heathrow airport together. Before that it was always my husband who was out there on the other side waving and stretching this neck to see me walking through the departure lounge alone or with my boys. In fact, the five of us went back to Thailand in 1995 but I went ahead two weeks before them so that I could spend some time with my mother before they arrived. This trip, however, was a total surprise for my family. They did not expect to see me so soon especially my turning up with my husband.

 

Meeting with my readers

During this trip, I had a chance to meet up with four people who knew me through my book A Handful of Leaves in Thai version. They seemed very enthusiastic to meet me so that they could offer me help regarding the printing of my future books. There were six people including me in that first meeting, one was a university lecturer, one was a lady Buddhist book critic, one owned a book-shop where the meeting was held, Pat, who had been of assistance to me for some time now and Noi my attorney friend since high school. 

 I took with me the first draft of my latest book which I had finished a few months before and introduced it to the people at the meeting. I let them have a copy each. I also brought along the foreword of the Buddhist critic including his letter regarding the sensitive issue he warned me about, with good intentions. I brought the subject up and told them there was no point in printing that foreword in my book for the reasons I have already stated. Apart from Noi and Pat, the other three had not yet read the draft copy of Koo Meu Cheewit, so they didnt have much idea what I was talking about. We had another meeting towards the end of our holiday because I wanted to see the feedback on my potentially controversial book from the refined lady who was also the Buddhist critic. She didnt comment much apart from asking me to consider carefully about the specific two chapters in that book.

I didnt have a chance to meet up with my new publisher due to the lack of time. I, however, talked with the lady on the phone. She was very positive about the book and told me how much her husband enjoyed reading the typescript of Koo Meu Cheewit. She also told me that the book would be published by December 2002 if everything went as planned. I was rather relieved to see everything turning out rather promising up to that point, but still couldnt help having some reservations to the law of change. Just in case something might go wrong at the last minute.   

 

Another set back!

      After our return from holiday, I had an email from the university lecturer. She had talked to the Buddhist critic and thought the monks foreword would be very complimentary to my book if only I could compromise with his suggestion by removing those few sensitive words and phrases.

I could see those few people hadnt yet grasp the spirit of this book either. It was not because I wasnt open minded enough. It was more like out of the question because the whole structure of the book would collapse. And it was difficult to convince people who had not yet gone through the training with me. The expressions in my books only revealed parts of me and my knowledge, not all. Those who had not gone through the training with me in my class until experiencing the innocent perception, would find it harder to understand my expressions, jargon and use of words than those who had.

I decided to sit down and write all the reasons why I could not compromise with the Buddhist critics comments. I sent my letter together with the monks letter stating his point of view about my book and post them to those five people at the meeting as well as the publisher. 

      Whilst I was thinking that everyone would agree with my reasoning, one day towards the end of October 2002, I had an email from Pat telling me that he had just talked to the publisher and the couple decided to withdraw the publication of Koo Meu Cheewit. That was only two months before its completion. I asked Pat for their reasons. He said he didnt know because they wouldnt tell him. Nevertheless, I knew it in my heart that this must have everything to do with my letter and the critics comments.

At that point, I was more concerned for my friend Noi and those few people who wanted to support me. I phoned Noi right away and she had only just found out from me. Noi said that if it had something to do with the comment, she wasnt surprised in the slightest because this publishing house was a rising star in the publication business and they could not afford to publish any potentially controversial material and cause a scandal. Although I didnt know the reason for this sudden withdrawal, I knew the couple must feel rather bad in letting me down without giving me any reason. After all, it was their wish to print my book at the first place. I emailed Pat right away and asked him to tell the couple that whatever the reasons that caused them to withdraw the publication of my book, I would understand. I wanted them to know that there was no hard feelings from me at all. And told them not to worry too much about it. They must do what was right for them.

 

Supported by an A list Buddhist author

The university lecturer emailed me on the next day after she had talked to the publisher. She said that the publisher had taken my letter and the critics comment to a very well known Buddhist author in Thailand. He was a veteran Buddhist scholar and had produced a great number of most exquisite Buddhist literatures some of which I had used as references in my books. This author had read the typescripts of Koo Meu Cheewit and he agreed with the critics point of view. This Buddhist author was also the honorable consultant of this publishing house.

If I compare the Buddhist critic I approached as a B or C list figure, this author is indeed an A list person. It isnt because I want to compare people. I just want you to know the scale of difficulties I have been facing in Thailand as far as propagating the Buddhas teaching is concerned. If a famous Buddhist author does not agree with my work, what chance do I have? At least now, I knew the reason for the withdrawal of the publication of my book. During those few days, I was more concerned about the feelings of those few people. This unfortunate twist must really have shaken their confidence in me and I didnt know at the time whether they were still behind me or not. It wasnt easy trying to clarify myself, being six thousand miles away. I could have given up and stopped all my work in Thailand. Nevertheless, up to that critical point, if I still insisted in helping people, I saw it was my duty to do my very best to mend the melt-down situation. I must convince those few people so that they could act as my extended arms and legs in Thailand and push my works forward for me. Without them, I could not possibly help those who I wish to help. 

I emailed back and asked them to hold a meeting and I wrote them a long email representing my speech in the meeting. In trying to repair their confidence in me, I gave them three options to choose from regarding the printing of Koo Meu Cheewit:

 

1)             If they still agreed with the contents I wanted to deliver in that book and still wanted to support me, go ahead with the publication somehow and damn the consequences!

2)             Bin all my works! If they felt it was too much of a risk and did not want to be part of this controversy, I told them to feel free to walk away then. Just withdraw and stop everything. I didnt mind at all. This book was for other peoples benefit and not for my own benefit. If they wanted to help me so that I could help others, I appreciated very much. If they, however, didnt want to help me, I would accept it without any hard feelings. 

3)             To avoid all the problems, I suggested that they keep my works in safe place and print them after I had died.

 

Damn the consequences!

I went on to explain that whatever the consequences would be, positive or negative, we would have to face them with bravery. And that courage would have to be compatible to their meditation practice. I said that we didnt have to talk about any positive result but we should hypothetically look ahead into the worst scenario. If this book, however, would unfortunately offend Thai people so overwhelmingly after the publication, I said that I would take this disastrous consequence with silent reaction. I would not entangle myself in a war of words just trying to prove my points because I thought I had said enough in my books. I didnt have to explain myself outside the contents of my books. I did not need to do so and I will not do so either. And I would like my supporters to do the same, should they still want to support me, of course. I said that when the storm had calmed down, which it certainly would eventually, by then, if there was just one person in Thailand who read that book and was willing to do everything as I guided, it would be worth it. If there were ten people who might benefit from my books, that would be a great bonus for us. What else could I ask for?  And I really meant every word I said.

 

Take it or leave it

I told them that I did not set out writing books to make money, to find fame or building an empire. If I wanted lots of money, I would have gone to work in a Thai restaurant and I would have been very rich by now like many other Thai girls here in England. I felt compelled to write because I thought it would be selfish of me not to share my knowledge with others. So, this is my way to help people to witness the ultimate truth which is right in front of them. My duty ended after the books had been written. I would do my very best further to deliver my words to people by having the book published. At the University of Birmingham, I gave every student in my class a copy of A Handful of Leaves printed on A4 papers and a floppy disc containing the whole contents of The User Guide to Life. Because I knew very few students were willing to spend their money on my books. Should I really want money, I wouldnt have given away dozens of floppy discs, especially in the world of today when lawyers make lots of money over libel cases regarding copyrights. I am indeed the right material for being exploited but I dont care. Whoever wants to exploit me, it is their karma they have to worry about, not mine.  Thus, it could only mean I wanted to do everything I could to help that one person I aimed for. By then, my task really ended. Once my books fall into peoples hands and they had read them, they could either take my advice, do what I had guided them or simply bin it if they didnt like it. The choice would be theirs to make, not mine.  No one could write a book to please everyone. It wouldnt change anything on my part because my duty was done.

 

 Who would listen to an unknown person?

There was a point that the critic brought up in his letter and initially I found it hard to grasp. The critic said something like how did I expect readers to believe in what I had claimed, since I wasnt a well known person in Thailand, no one knew me and I was also a woman who was still leading a family life. He asked me whether I was self-deluded and said that I wasnt the first one. There were many who claimed so in the history of Buddhism. He said that for lay Buddhists, they would not take notice in what I said because I was not famous. As to Buddhist scholars, they would view my book as a laughing matter. He was very forthright with me, which was very good in testing my hidden ego.

 With all due respect to the Buddhist critic who warned me with good intentions, but what he said, it sounded almost like the male in yellow robes had a monopoly in propagating the teaching of the Buddha. In plain words, the critics remark implied that a woman of my status could not possibly achieve the spiritual experience I had claimed. As being a no-name person, who would listen to me? He had a very good point, which reflected the Thai attitude towards women in relating to the Buddhist institution. I, however, tried to answer to the question of fame to those few people, which, I felt later on, might have confused my supporters. Nevertheless, this is one of the issues I will talk about later on as the book is progressing.

 

How tough are you to brave the storm?

So, I told those few people that if they still wanted to support me on this project, they had to be extremely brave to face the worst consequences. And if they thought they did not have enough courage to do so, I would rather they withdrew their support. I didnt mind in the slightest because it was them who had to face the music if the unfavorable event happened. I said that whoever wanted to help me pushing this book forward, they had to seriously practise the dhamma especially meditation. Otherwise, they would not have enough strength to brave the storm. I said that this was the beginning of my work and being a woman of my status, I could only see a long steep hill ahead. There wont be any easy ride for a long time yet.

 

Am I self-deluded?!

      Just such a question is what one must expect to be challenged with, if one chooses to come forward and talk about the ultimate truth. It isnt at all uncommon. Should a question be asked relating to other topics, we normally seek help from experts on that particular subject. Someone might claim his formula of diet was good for losing weight and insisted he was right. Therefore, we needed medical experts or nutritionists to verify such claims. We listen to experts in different field of knowledge because we trust that they know best and they know what they are talking about. In the end, experts will be the best of judges of  whether the claimed person is self-deluded or not.   

Nevertheless, when the subject focused on is the nature of the ultimate truth, who in the world can verify such knowledge? Who will be the expert and the best to judge on this ultimate issue? By logic, the person who can verify this claim has to know the ultimate truth himself. If you want to judge whether a candidate can swim or not, you must know how to swim yourself. If the judge had no knowledge of the ultimate truth himself, how on earth could he judge whether the claimed person had the ultimate knowledge or not?

As far as my knowledge is concerned, whoever wants to judge me must at least know what exactly I mean by the innocent perception first. I normally make sure that my students could share this simple experience with me first before I slowly connect it to the big words like Nirvana, God, Tao, The Tree of Life and the ultimate truth. And how can one learn about the innocent perception? Of course, it has to come from me because I created this word myself after I had seen the experience. I am sure you realise that we are now dealing with the most fundamental issues here. This is the most difficult matter to deal with because the best judge on this matter has long gone.

During the Buddhas time, if his followers had any doubt whether a disciple might have reached the ultimate enlightenment or not, they could always go to the sublime Buddha and asked for his verification. With whom we can consult nowadays? Although I know there are enlightened people in the world, that doesnt mean they will reveal themselves and are accessible to people.

 

The ultimate knowledge is self-knowledge

The point is that the enlightened ones who claim to know the ultimate truth, need no verification from others, they must verify for themselves. If the enlightened ones are still seeking for endorsement from others, it means that they havent yet reached the ultimate knowledge. It is because the ultimate knowledge is self-complete and self-endorsement. Whoever has experience of the ultimate enlightenment, they would know that this is it; this is the one. In fact, it does make a lot of sense. Without these crucial ingredients, otherwise, it cannot be claimed the ultimate knowledge. Ultimate means the end of the string, final and no more running to find a teacher. Thats itfinishthe end!

Therefore, no one can help me on this final matter. I have to be the one to answer to myself whether I am deluded or not. Indeed, this is the ultimate challenge for anyone who is mad enough to come forward and makes such a claim. In the past, I kept on saying that I must be either insane or I knew exactly what I was talking about. I will not make such a statement anymore. That is because an insane person cannot possibly give you all these reasons to back up the claim.

 

Thai people place Buddhism on a high shelf 

      Thai people are brought up to view Nirvana as an extremely remote goal to achieve and are keen to place this supreme concept of life on a very high platform. Buddhist teachings are also encrusted with thick layers of jargon, which ordinary people find impossible to understand. Teachers who have not yet confirmed the ultimate knowledge for themselves also create additional confusion and complexity in this ancient wisdom by putting emphasis on rituals, ceremonies and objects for worship which allow merchants to exploit Buddhism even further. Consequently, even Buddhists with high potential, tend to think they are under qualified for the supreme achievement. This is half of the problem that is responsible for the deterioration of the Thai Buddhist institution. We are severely lacking in teachers who not only know the nature of the ultimate truth (Nirvana) but also have the ability to bring this ancient treasure down from the high shelf, give it a good dusting and present it to people in plain language. In the way that ordinary people can relate to. We need teachers who dont treat this supreme concept as some kind of fragile antique, too scared to touch for fear of  breaking it. This is the part that I am trying to do. This task has already shown the signs of resistance from traditionalists.

 

The ultimate truth is the ultimate simplicity

 In my eyes, the ultimate truth, apart from being the very final frontier for absolutely everything, it also has other unique qualities as being the simplest and the most ordinary state of nature. I often told my students in class that the most profound wisdom in the universe was in fact skin deep. In other words, there is no depth at all because it refers to the sheer simplicity, ordinariness and normality. Thats why it is the most difficult nature for people to understand because no one can work this out themselves and tend to overlook it. It is very difficult to give definitions to these three words because they indicate the most fundamental meaning let alone expressing the feeling involved. Try and explain the word simplicity and normality to a non-English speaking person. Youll soon find out what I mean. I can see myself writing a whole book just to explain the word normality alone. Sometime, it is easier to explain by giving examples instead.  If you feel simple and normal, it means you dont jump up and down when being happy and dont cry when being sad. Feeling simple and normal means feeling nothing and having nothing to say. This is what simplicity, ordinariness and normality are all about.

When I dwell in the innocent world (the ultimate truth), I feel nothing but sheer simplicity, ordinariness and normality. This is indeed the platform from which I make my announcements regarding the nature of the ultimate truth. This is the only reason, which makes perfect sense why an ordinary woman with a working class husband living in a working class neighbourhood, has the courage to step forward and tell people about the nature of the ultimate truth. It can only mean that I feel simple, ordinary and normal inside me. The whole process has to be the result of a natural reaction. All natural actions are simple, ordinary and normal.

 When I talked about my working class husband, a lot of people might think I looked down on him. In fact, it is just  the opposite. Because I was born into a working class family and married into a working class family, this has turned out to be the most significant factor leading to what I am today. Had I been born into a rich upper class or even married into a British middle class family, things might have been very different. But lets not get too involved with such a hypothetical situation. What I tried to say is that I am, in fact, very grateful to my husband and this family for helping me to stay firm on the ground, keeping me simple, normal, ordinary and down to earth. These are all the prime qualities an individual needs to achieve the ultimate goal of life. Poor people are rich in this respect because they are right at the gateway of Gods kingdom. If poor people can get over the barrier of wanting more money and be content in whatever they have, the Kingdom of God is truly right there already. That is the contentment in the very moment of here and now when they are totally absorbed in their menial work. That very moment is indeed the nature of Eternity or the ultimate truth. Whilst I have been writing this chapter, I have also been earning my living by giving body and foot massage for people, mainly to my two elderly lady neighbours. I choose to do massage because it involves movements and sensations and because this is where the truth is hidden. This is a matter of one bullet and ends up with three birds, my customers enjoy my service, I enjoy my own work and I also have some money in return. My husband and family here dont know me well enough to realise that my happiness in living here is beyond words.

This is also the reason why I manage to explain this profound wisdom in simple language, using simple analogy and examples. Because I am not talking from the ivory tower. I do not preach that which I cannot do. I am talking facts and experience that I have been through. I watched a program called how the other half live on the BBC last night. It was about the rich upper class British who would do anything to get their post code in the area of Chelsea and Kensington. This is the most expensive area in London where the residence can associate with the Royal, the aristocrats and the famous. They also do their daily shopping in Harrods and other exclusive shops that I cannot even pronounce the names right. My husband and I kept on looking at each other as we were watching the program and in the end, we agreed that we were lucky that we did not belong to that category of people. Now you can understand why Christ said: it is easier to push a camel through the needle hole than for a rich man to reach the Kingdom of God. 

 In fact, the first part of this book is all about the very simple logic of living and making everyday life happier. I often feel astounded why people cannot see it and insist on turning their lives into a mass of complexity, which often results in suffering and mayhem.

 

The first level of holiness is easy

In the Thai version of The User Guide to Life, I defied the Thai attitude over this matter even further by telling people that if they could do everything as I had guided in that book, they would undoubtedly reach the first level of holiness and become Sotapana. In the Christian sense, this same code of practice will place people right at the gateway of Gods Kingdom. Maybe a small number of devout Buddhists and Christians could bring themselves to believe they could achieve that holy goal in this life time but certainly not the majority. I tried to change peoples view on this matter because I can see that it is very much possible for everyone to achieve such a goal in this life time. It is not reserved just for monks, clerics, temple and church-goers but for all of us who walk the earth, the very ordinary people just like you and me. The more simple and ordinary you are, the quicker you can achieve it.

 

 Counterbalance praise with the feeling of normality

In the past few years since my books were published, I have been receiving a number of emails, some of which were most flattering. If I feel flattered, I wont be qualified to do this job. Praise is, in fact, a far bigger challenge than criticism. At least, criticism prompts you to examine yourself and force you to face up to the challenge just like what I am doing now. To those who are constantly in the public eye, the endless overdose of praise is the perfect potion that can drive one to absolute self-delusion. Praise has the most delicious taste, once one has a taste for it, it is hard to let go and hard not to want it again and again. Thats why so many famous people have been destroyed because once praise is replaced by criticism, they cannot take it and their lives can be ruined. They have to escape to find some forms of refuge like drugs for example.  

The feelings that can counterbalance praise is the feeling of simplicity, ordinariness and normality, which, once again, are the main features of the ultimate truth. This is not easily done though. One needs a great deal of wisdom and the meditation skills to remain feeling simple and normal, which is what this book is all about. People who can do a big job successfully are those who manage to feel simple and normal amongst the overwhelming praise. The public will normally admire famous people who manage to feel simple and act simple both in the public eyes and in private elements. These people will thrive well in whatever they do.

In coming forward and telling people about the nature of the ultimate truth, I suppose this can be called doing a big job. Thats why it will make perfect sense that I feel simple and normal inside otherwise I cannot see myself doing this job. I would leave it to the men in yellow robes. And I certainly cannot talk about it if I dont really feel so.

 

When English is not my language

Thoughts, ideas, concepts, imaginations and feelings are the most complex and difficult matters to deal with because of their abstractions, formlessness and above all trapped in our life form. With objects, we can use our five senses to deal with them. Whatever we want to arrange, we can see them with our naked eyes. But we cannot arrange thought, ideas, concepts and feelings in the same way we arrange objects.  Thats why being a good writer is not easy. Whoever wants to be writers, they must have exceptional skill, talent and above all be gifted.  Because writers jobs are about arranging hundreds of thousands and even millions of random thought, concepts, ideas, images and feelings into certain orders, transcribe them into words, thread them into sentences, divide them into paragraphs and see the story through till the end. Thats why the computer is a godsend for all writers. I must admit I could not possibly have written all these books without a computer, especially in English. 

 When English is not my mother tongue, it is even more important in that whatever I want to convey, must be extremely vivid in my head first before I can materialise them into words either verbally or literarily. I also tend to be very blunt, straight talking, forthright and get to the point, which might have unfortunately and unintentionally offended and even intimidated people. But these qualities, apart from being Chinese, are actually the results of trying to make my thoughts clear to myself first before I could engage in a talk or a conversation. This kind of character is not very helpful in British society where people are very polite, reserved, avoid confrontation and dont always talk their minds. My husband and children are quite nervous when I am among the family gatherings because they just dont know what kind of directness will come out of my mouth.

Nevertheless, the teaching in my class has been a means for me to exercise the use of my thoughts. Sometime I thought it was clear enough in my head but when it reached the state of expressing myself, I could not materialise my thoughts into words. I could not make myself clear enough for others. So, I tried again and again. The concept like Tom and Jerry, the innocent perception, the mental holodeck, the jigsaw puzzles, the train passing through the station are the results of my exercising these thoughts for the past ten years or so in my Tai chi class. My students from the early years can tell you that they could not understand much of what I said.

The clarity of my thoughts, however, took a drastic turn after my extraordinary experience in the autumn of 1997. It was then when I knew for certain that the innocent perception that I had trained my students to witness a few years before, was indeed the nature of the ultimate truth. From then on, my trail of thinking became less scattered and more focused. I seemed to be able to think with clear perspective and nothing seemed to get in the way of my thinking. Because whatever topic or issue I think about, I can always pull or follow that string of thought till the end of it. The end of those thoughts always finished off at the ultimate nature.  A Handful of Leaves was the first piece of work I produced after the autumn of 1997. It reflected the distinctness and the perspective of my thoughts as well as the independence from my teachers, which was quite unprecedented. Without the clearness of my thoughts, I dont think I could create any written work in English at all with or without a computer. It would be impossible because I dont see myself as a professional writer.

 

My style of teaching 

We are all individual human-beings. We have our own ways in doing things. Having lived in Britain for 23 years, I have to admit I have more or less conformed into the western way of thinking and doing certain things. My work at the University of Birmingham is one of the main causes, which has gradually been shaping my individuality.

Not only intellectuals, Western people in general are also well known for their rational and logical way of thinking. This was what I realised after I married my English husband and lived in England. Because of this rational quality, they can also be very stubborn and cynical too. They will not believe in anything that cannot be proven. I have a great number of post-graduate students coming through my classes, a lot of them were doing their doctorate degree and some of them had been through Oxbridge. What could I, a housewife and a foreigner who could not even speak proper English, possibly offer to these extremely clever people? When I found out they offered me a job of coaching Tai chi at the University of Birmingham, instead of feeling happy in getting a job, I felt totally in the opposite, daunting, frightening and most intimidating. Teaching western intellectuals is not an easy task, especially when the teacher is a foreigner. No matter what subject you want to teach, you have to be ready for all kinds of tests and challenges to your knowledge.

Now, lets look at the subjects and issues I have to deal with. Indeed, they are revolving around the subject of life, the ultimate goal of life, the ultimate truth, morality, The Kingdom of God, eternity, Nirvana, the law of karma and so on.  Sensible people would rather keep these subjects quiet without spilling the beans about their interest to others for fear of being laughed at. Highly sensible people would leave these potentially controversial issues for religious personnel like monks, clergy and clerics because at least, their words would be naturally backed up by their religious institution they represent.

What chance do I have in standing here alone among the western intellectuals and trying to convince them I had knowledge in those challenging issues without the endorsement of the yellow robe uniform or the back up of the Buddhist institution. Indeed, I had no credentials to convince them whatsoever. My first six years of teaching here was very painful because of my lack of confidence and my immature wisdom, which caused me not to be able to present my speech well enough. Many times, I could see the students eyes were rolling, their shoulders were shrugging which were the obvious signs telling me that Ohyes, and dont forget I believe in Santa Claus and Tooth fairies as well. 

It is ironic though because these were also reasons, which constantly prompted me to think rationally and logically. I was conditioned to simplify the ancient Buddhist concepts into the version that these people can accept and most importantly can relate to. Everything I said has to be articulately expressed as well as making sense to them. Above all, I must show them my confidence and conviction in my field of knowledge which I could not do before, not until after my enlightening experience of 1997. 

 Thai people do not realise the extent of the difficulties that I have been through all these years. According to the Thai critics warning about the sensitive words I put down in Koo Meu Sheewit, it can be analogized as trying to advertise the beautiful island of Phuket to western tourists without the right to tell them that I had been there before. Or trying to sell slimming pills without the right to tell the buyers that I have used them before. Or trying to teach people to swim without the right to tell them I can swim. To help people to reach the ultimate goal of life or to witness the ultimate truth is a much more difficult and complex matter than those analogies. Even the analogies, we can see it doesnt make much sense to people if you dont have the right to tell them of your expertise to begin with. Why do we all struggle so hard to get some sort of qualifications? The answer is so that we can convince our employers of our expertise before the employment.

You can call me stupid if you like but I dont know how I could lead people to witness the ultimate truth without telling them that I have seen it myself and I am about to lead them to see it. I really dont know how many other ways I could do this job without telling people of what I know and dont know. I know that my way of teaching is indeed far from being traditional.  And this is the heart of the problem, which trouble some devout Buddhists, Thai and non-Thai who are restricted in the traditional way of Buddhist teaching.

 Nevertheless, people have to admit this is my style of teaching. No matter how weird it may sound or how offensive it may be to some people, to me, it is still a very logical way of thinking and doing things. And I cannot do it in any other way.

 

Being guided by honesty

Trying to investigate further whether I am self-deluded or not, you can find out a lot more from my writing skill. In making it easier for me to express myself in English, apart from the factor of having the lucid thoughts, it is also much easier if I write facts and not fiction. Most people who are not good in writing can always manage writing their own diary because they write from the actual facts that actually happen to them. They dont have to create and imagine the non-existent events, which is a much more difficult task if the writer is not gifted. Fictional works, which is about writing from imagination and complex thoughts, is a much more difficult thing to do. Your imagination has to be absolutely lucid before you can materialise it into words. J. R. R Tolkien had every right to be called a genius because The Lord of the Rings was one of the most exquisite fictional works man had created. Without the making of the film, I would never have found out the extent of complexity in Tolkiens mind. 

Nevertheless, I have never had interest in fictional material because I adore facts and the truth too much. This has reflected in my own writing. It is also this very fact that my writing is based on. I find it is much easier to write about the messages and the contents that already exist in my head and heart without having to deal with any complex imagination. It was even more so when I needed to express feeling. I found it was impossible to express feelings and emotions that I did not have myself. I would not have a clue what to talk about. Nevertheless, to transcribe all the existing materials within myself, it means I have no choice but being scrupulously honest with myself. I must let honesty and integrity guide my way through the pages of paper. Without using this method, there will not be anything to write, nothing whatsoever.

 

Losing battle

Please let me bring you back to the events after the rejection from the publisher. After the set back and the long email I wrote explaining myself to a few people, there was a long silence for a few months from both sides. There was no progress. While I was stopping my side of the communication, I was hoping that my friends might take a lead and do whatever they could to get this book published. I must admit that there were some brief moments when I wanted to just sit back and not do anything at all. I could easily comply to that wishful thought by stepping into my innocent world and all the problems would vanish into thin air. I kept on thinking that there was no more I could do. The process of getting the book published and sold are the part that I have no knowledge of and I dont have much idea what to do without help. Thats why when the publisher agreed to print my books in the past, I was happy to give my work to them without expecting any royalty fee in return apart from the two hundred free copies of the published books. In the contrary, I had tremendous gratitude toward them.

Being so far away, no matter what angle I viewed it from, I needed at least one person in Thailand to help me so that I could help others. And that key person had to have a strong belief in me and preferably with charisma because he or she would have to speak on behalf of me. Thats why I wrote several long letters and emails after my return from Thailand in 2001 just trying to convince a few people of my leadership so that they could act on behalf of me. But not everyone was convinced as I judged from the silence after several letters. After the monks critics and the subsequent rejection from the publisher, I wasnt sure how much support I still had? As far as helping people was concerned, I couldnt help thinking that I might have lost the battle. I began to understand the monks words saying how could I expect people to believe me since I was not famous. Indeed, he was very right. And how on earth I could get myself noticed if I didnt have any help to get my work published. I saw myself being trapped in this vicious circle, not knowing how to break free.

 

The return of the familiar voice

Then, the familiar voice that had been echoing in my head every time I faced big challenge, returned, telling me not to give up. Although I had done my job in writing the book for people, it was still very much my duty to make sure that my messages would arrive in peoples hands. If I didnt do that, it meant I did not fulfill my wish in helping that one person. I could also see that this was just the beginning of my work, it was bound to be difficult and therefore very necessary that I must put every drop of effort into it. I could not sit back and wait for a miracle to happen. Hence, after a good three months of retreat from writing letters and emails, I resumed my letter writing to try to convince my friends and push them to find more ideas on what to do next.       

 

More contacts from readers

       Meanwhile, since the publications of my two books in Thailand, I began to have letters and emails from readers some of whom wished to come to see me in person and asked questions. I refused any personal contact as I didnt want my family life to be disrupted. Instead, I suggested a retreat or a meditation workshop. If they could find a few people who are interested to learn from me, I would be very happy to go and teach without any charge provided that they pay for my travelling expenses.

     

A retreat in Cameroon

My first retreat outside the UK took place in April 2002 when I went to Cameroon, which was my first trip to Africa. My attorney friend, Noi and Juliet raised the funds to cover this trip for me. It was this trip, which caused part of the problem between my husband and I as he was concerned about my safety in having to travel alone into the continent I had never been before. As for me, I thought that if there were people out there wanted my help, I should do my best to help them. It was especially the case for Africa because there were not many Buddhist meditation teachers visiting Africa. This would be a good chance for me to bring Buddhist meditation to Africa and plant a few enlightening seedlings there. Finally, with the help of a French lady who would host me while I was in Cameroon, I talked my husband into it and he let me go.

The participants were students and intellectuals. A few of them were also devout Catholics; a couple students went to the church service before coming to my class and one of them was a preacher himself. They were very enthusiastic and it was a pleasure to teach them. I had to teach through an interpreter since the majority spoke French. We dealt with a lot of unclear issues about Christian faith and its teaching, i.e. how could we love our nieghbours and enemies like we love ourselves? How could we give the other cheek to our haters or give our trousers to our muggers. How could we lead to eternal life in this days and age and so on? Despite their strong belief in God, they took my teaching surprisingly well. Once they had the glimpse of the innocent perception, they could understand and agree with my explanation about the Tree of Knowledge and The tree of Life as I compared the two trees to Tom and Jerry. Although there were some tough questions, I managed to clear their doubts.

As far as my students in Cameroon are concerned, apart from giving them my spiritual knowledge, I only wish I could offer them the material need too. I have to face the fact that it is beyond my reach because I too am still struggling to earn a living myself.

 

Facing SARS

Among my overseas readers, there was a Singaporean and a Cambridge graduate who was keen to learn more from me. I put him in touch with my other Singaporean students and a retreat in Singapore was set for April 2003. I wrote to a few more readers both Thais and Westerners asking them to join this retreat in Singapore. I chose to go to Thailand first and went to Singapore in between my stay there so that I could solve some problem regarding the printing of my works.

When I arrived in Thailand, the war in Iraq had already broken out and I had no idea how serious the SARS epidemic was until I stepped into the Thai airport and saw people wearing masks including my brother who came to pick me up.

           

A retreat in Thailand

 Before I left England, an American gentleman living in Thailand, found my books and emailed me and wished to join the retreat in Singapore but could not make it. He suggested a retreat in Thailand. Although I had never been enthusiastic about holding a retreat in my own country, I thought maybe it was high time I did so.

The reason was that, as time went by, I was more certain that the innocent perception must be revealed, pointed out and confirmed by myself only. I knew that people tend to overlook that simple experience. Reading my books alone would not help to get to the bottom of this ultimate experience. Personal training with me would give them a shortcut for their understanding as well as the bonus gain of the practice. This would be a good opportunity for me to convince those few people whose help I needed. I also felt more comfortable to use my way of speaking with the students who had been trained with me. After the retreat, it would be much easier for me to communicate with them. This would solve half of my problems because I had to use a different approach dealing with people through my books than dealing with people face to face in my class. I had no problems with people who had gone through the direct training with me. They would know exactly what I meant by innocent perception without misjudging me. This retreat in Thailand would also be a way to make it up to those few others, who cancelled their plans to go to Singapore because of SARS.

Having thought all this through, just over 24 hours after my arrival and still struggling to get over my jetlag, I began phoning people and organising an unexpected retreat in Bangkok. It was like a whirlwind, I managed to round people up, find an excellent venue and the long weekend retreat took place within four days after my arrival. There were altogether 27 people joining the retreat although not everyone came everyday. Nine of them were my own family members, some were friends and their families and some were readers whom I had never met before.    

     

Found the equivalent to Tom and Jerry

It was my first time I had to teach in the Thai language. It was a bit strange and threw me out of place at first because I had been so used to making the speeches in English. Nevertheless, I soon found out that in fact the Thai language could accommodate the subtlety of different mental nature far better than English. The night before the retreat, I found the proper words, which the Thais use everyday, to represent Tom and Jerry. By using the words that they were familiar with, it would be a great help to boost their understanding when it reached the practice. That was a great relief for me because I could go through my normal format of teaching, which was about separating Tom from Jerry.

The retreat went well. The participants were happy with the knowledge and the meditation technique I passed on. At last, they had some ideas what I meant by the innocent perception. Whether they could keep up with the practice or not was another matter. I was particularly happy for my own family members and pleased that they finally had some ideas what I had been doing. 

 

The retreat in Singapore

After the retreat in Bangkok, the SARS situation got worse until it reached a point that was beyond my control. I still wanted to go to Singapore as planned because there were people who had booked their time off work to join this retreat. I must do my very best. But The Thai government stopped all civil servants, even monks from entering all the SARS infected countries. Should I go ahead with the plan, I would be quarantined and hounded upon re-entry to Thailand and life wouldnt be simple,  so my friend from the Health Ministry told me. Both my families in Thailand and England also pleaded with me not to go. To my regret, I had no choice but to cancel the retreat. Should the situation have changed towards the end of my stay, I would still go. I couldnt help by giving them any hope.   

Indeed, the SARS situation in Singapore, however, seemed to die down in the press towards the end of April, so I decided to email my students and put the retreat back on the agenda again if they could regroup the people. I chose to leave Thailand four days before schedule and came back again for transit only.

The retreat in Singapore was a pure joy for me. Because of the disruption of the original plans and the teaching workshop fell on the weekdays, I was expecting fewer than ten people but nearly thirty people turned up, taking turns in two different sessions, day and evening. The day session took place in the wonderful Botanical gardens. We were surrounded by the most spectacular tropical greenery. The participants were all very enthusiastic and eager to learn from me. Quite a few of them were Buddhist scholars, reading Buddhist texts rather extensively.

 

Hello Tom, Goodbye Jerry

Once again, they were happy to learn about Tom and Jerry and how to separate them through meditation practice. It was one of my students here who was also a Buddhist scholar, he phoned to thank me while I was being driven to the airport. He told me that he had thought of a motto for himself from then on and it would be Hello Tom and Good bye Jerry. I burst out with laughter and subsequently told my students in the car that, this motto would be so perfect for the title of the second part of The User Guide to Life. If I could use it without tangling up with the copy right issue, it would be great.

Despite SARS, I was glad I made this trip to Singapore. It was worth every effort.

  

My own publishing house

      Before I left Thailand, I had a chance to hold a meeting with a few of the people who had joined the retreat in Thailand. We agreed to contribute some of our own money to begin with as well as raise more funds from our families and friends and do our own printing work. Finally, we had managed to find enough money to print the first book on our list and hire a book distributor to do the sale for us. This worked out well because I could print the book in the way I wanted as well as setting an affordable price for readers easy decision-making. A number of the books were set aside for donation to temples and libraries. After all the set-backs and disruption, Koo Meu Cheewit was published and for sale in September 2003. We still keep on looking for funds to print the next book on the list.

It looked like that I had my extended arms and legs in Thailand after all. Thank goodness, I can focus on producing more written works from now on.

 

This challenge has everything to do with you

      I didnt have to tell you about what the Thai critic commented about me and my work especially on the issue of whether or not I was self-deluded. I could easily keep it away from you (all my English-speaking readers), and do everything as the Thai critic had kindly advised, no one would know and the publisher wouldnt have rejected my book either. I dont think you would hear or read such criticism outside Thailand because my work will not be noticed, not while I am living anyway.

It was only last year when I received a letter from a man who was trying to gather all the authors who had been swindled by Minerva Press so that he could gather enough evidence to expose and prosecute the con-man who robbed some three thousand amateur authors globally. I phoned him up just wanting to find out whether I might be able to rescue any left over copies of my book: Dear Colin in the stock. As soon as he worked out I was a foreigner, he told me that what Minerva Press did to me was sheer criminal. He said that the con-man only had the interest to take my money (some three thousand pounds), so dont even hope to find any left over copies of my book because there was no stock in the first place. In other words, he might as well have said that my written work would not stand a chance in this highly competitive business and society. Thats why I stopped trying to find a publisher here in England long ago and my only hope of finding a publisher was in Thailand. Hence, there is more chance for a comet or a meteor to hit the earth than for my work to be noticed here in the Western world.

But why I choose to tell you is because this challenge has everything to do with you. I would rather face this huge challenge head on with you now. This is also my style of teaching. I would rather you sort out your doubts now than later because if you dont, we cannot move forward. How can you let me be your guide if you dont have faith in me? Doubt is the most difficult and challenging enemy to defeat.

 

Tomorrow never comes

The Thai people, including myself, had gone through enough painful experiences in having our faith crushed after we found out that some teachers (mainly monks) whom we had respected and worshiped for decades were not as holy as they claimed or appeared to be. As time moves on, I have learnt that real spiritual teachers should not live to see their names rising to fame because it must take a life time to prove oneself to oneself. I always insist I cannot tell you more than I know now and I dont know what else remain for me to learn. I also have to prove myself to myself everyday about the ultimate knowledge I know. Not to mention tomorrow, I dont even know what problem lies ahead between now and next minute or even the next breath. I dont know whether I will be able to deal with it or not. I just know that as long as I could deal with the next moment in the same way I am dealing now with this very moment, I would be all right. And I will have to do this until I die, wont I? Because tomorrow never comes, there will always be a tomorrow. So, I never forget to take praise as a pinch of salt. I cannot afford to be flattered by it. I always admire Lao Tzu, the author of Tao Te Ching. Even today, we still dont know much about this intriguing person. But it doesnt matter. In fact, whoever wrote Tao Te Ching whether or not his name was Lao Tzu, that person had every inch of the character in being an enlightened one. It was only right that the Chinese to compare him to a dragon. Had that unique person not left his holy book behind, we wouldnt have known that this enlightened one used to walk the earth.    

 

You must answer for yourself

I realise that it is still up to me to help you to clear your doubts. That is why I have gone through great lengths to tell you about myself and my work so that I can give a boost to your confidence in your guide who is leading you down this difficult path to the ultimate enlightenment. You would naturally want to seek assurance from others whether or not I could be trusted. If you really want to reach the ultimate goal of life and be free from all problems, you must start thinking for yourself from this moment onward. No one can answer this question for you. There will always be people who believe in me and some who dont. It depends who you seek advice from and talk to.

I strongly advise you to learn to make up your own mind. Because as you are progressing along this path with me, you will need to be more definite in your decision making. It is significantly necessary if you want to walk this path. This is your very first test to see whether or not you are qualified to join me in this life journey. I dont take everyone on board my ship, I am afraid. I know it is hard but you must do it. And you will also understand why I must be scrupulously honest with you and have taken the time to tell you all those gory details about myself in this chapter. All this is meant to help you to make up your mind.  I can only wish you all the best of luck with your decision making.

 

My last advice to you

If your answer is no, you think I am self-deluded and I cannot be trusted to be your spiritual guide. You therefore dont want to continue the journey with me. That is fine, dont even feel bad about it. You must trust your own judgement. I hope you can find a compatible teacher to guide you. Spiritual teachers and their followers have to be compatible with each other, otherwise the learning process wont work. This has a lot to do with the previous deeds or karma of both sides. If both parties had some connections with each other in the previous life, there are bound to be factors bringing both parties to meet again in this lifetime. I often talk to the animals in my garden from ants, slug, snails, worms to birds and cats that should they be reborn into humans, I wish they would find my books and I could help them to get out of  samsara. Nevertheless, no fisherman can throw a net and catch every single fish in the sea. The net is also compatible to the size of the fish. My wisdom and my style of teaching can only be suitable to some peoples need and not all. Your reading, however, from now on, (only if you read further) will not mean much but a matter of trying to fill your head with more mental furniture and may be of some future reference. Also, you may not be able to resist finding fault in my works as well. It is quite all right. That is still fine with me too but please dont forget to leave some reservations for the law of change especially as far as your viewpoint is concerned. I wish you all the best of luck in finding a suitable teacher and that you find your eternal peace.

 

Welcome on board

      If your answer is yes, you want to carry on with the rest of life journey with me. I am happy for you and welcome aboard my ship. Whether you realise it or not, you have passed the very first test that I gave you. I hope you are aware that we are going to make a one way journey to our ultimate destination in life. There wont be any return. I will do my very best to help you. Please go through each chapter slowly. Make sure you understand everything I said and put it into practice right away as if I was standing there in front of you. Keep on revising the practice until you are familiar with the experience before you move on to the next chapter. Best of luck.