Chapter 18

 

The last boost of confidence

 

Finally, I have reached the end of the first part of this book which is about all the requirements you need to achieve before you can comfortably endeavour the vipassana practice. I am sure that there must have been a lot of thoughts that went through your mind as you were progressing along through this book. To the non-Buddhist and especially western mind, those requirements are not at all easy and indeed very doubtful. Some of you might be convinced by what I have said and are about to give it a go. Whether you are sceptical or convinced, I want to give you a last boost of confidence. There are a couple more things I need to say, which may help you to make up your mind as far as the contents of this book are concerned.

 

Enlightenment is not subject to debate

 

I would like to make it very clear to you that although doubt and clarification through talking, discussing and debating are quite necessary for many issues in life, Nirvana or ultimate truth is certainly not one of them.  The four noble truths, dependent origination and cessation, the law of kamma, the cycle of rebirth and the state of ultimate enlightenment are not the types of issues which can be open to debate like western people are so keen to do.

 

Why? Well, judging by logic, you can only talk and debate about something that you know well because you either have facts in your hands or experience. If someone asks me to sit on a panel and discuss cars, Scotland or pig farming, I have to quickly refuse because I have no facts nor any related experience to share with people on those issues. I will not have a clue what to talk about. However, I will not turn down any request on the issues of Tai Chi, Thailand, Thai culture or Buddhism because I have plenty of facts and experience to share. It is very simple logic, isn't it?

 

In the same way, people who can truly share the knowledge of Nirvana and ultimate truth must have facts and experience first. I am not talking about facts and experience gained from reading the holy texts. In this case, it has to be from the practice only. The sole practice that you can do to gain the knowledge of Nirvana is the vipassana practice or the four foundations of awareness. Even though you have practiced vipassana, it still doesn’t guarantee that you would know what to talk about right away. You must at least know exactly what the fourth foundation of awareness is all about first. So, not to mention about knowing the fourth foundation, if someone has never practiced vipassana, will he or she have any right to talk and debate on Nirvana and ultimate truth? Of course not. If you don’t know what Nirvana looks like, what on earth can you talk and debate about?  It is as if a school of fish get together and agree to talk and debate on birds and the sky, or vice versa a flock of birds talk and debate about fish and water. Are they in their right mind to know what they are talking about? Of course not.

 

Watch out for the intellectuals

 

I bring this up because I happened to be one among a few people who had to give some input on a course called Buddha and Christ. The panel was made up of ‘experts’ in Christianity and ‘experts’ in Buddhism. There were about 20 participants who were mainly church ministers and vicars and the rest were devout Christians. There were no Buddhists among the participants apart from a Bangladesh Buddhist monk of the Theravadin tradition, a lady of the Mahayana tradition and myself who were in the panel.  

 

There was a great deal of talking and debates going on during that two-day course. My part was to talk about Buddhism in relation to Tai Chi, the Thai way of life and also to lead a half an hour Tai Chi session for the participants. Although the way the course was run was not really my style, I had to admit that I learnt a great deal from it in terms of the Christians’ reflections on Buddhism and about how people do things over here.

 

The incident that led me to bring this issue up was when a man, a university lecturer with his PhD credentials in theology and a collection of his references, carefully presented his input on Buddhist and Christian dialogue. Being a very articulate intellectual with a high level of confidence, his talk obviously captured the attention of the audience. The contents involved a great deal of references plucked out from many books by well known authors. At one point, he confidently denied the existence of ultimate truth, God and Nirvana and said something like there was no such experience.

 

A lot of thoughts went through my mind while I was listening to this clever man. Although I knew that his speech could not convince the three Buddhists nor could it shake the deeply rooted faith of those devout Christians in that room, I couldn’t help thinking of his young students who still very much needed spiritual guidance. What chance do they have in having a guide like this clever man with no real wisdom? It is obvious that such incorrect views can cause a great deal of damage to young people as far as searching for spiritual knowledge is concerned.

 

When I had a chance to talk, I saw no other way but to take his confidence toward his view away. Exactly as I said above, if one has never walked the path, how would one know what is waiting for you at the end of the road. I also said that ultimate truth was right there in front of him but he could not see it because he didn’t know what it looked like. In such a word battle, only the one who leans against the real ultimate truth can inwardly survive without being shaken. Although I had great sympathy for that man’s dented ego, I had no choice under such circumstances.

 

What is the right view?

 

It isn’t surprising that such an incorrect view does exist and is indeed widely spread among the highly intellectual people not only in the western world but even in Buddhist countries too. That is because the global education has been dominated by western intellectuals and their standards of learning. People especially scholars will listen attentively to such false views which are bound to have an effect on people and undoubtedly are very damaging. There is no way that the world can get rid of clever people dishing out such ignorant views about whether Nirvana or ultimate truth exist or not. Not to mention nowadays, this problem happened even in the Buddha’s time. There were several kinds of false view spreading among those searching for spiritual knowledge, such as the view on eternalism (Sassata-ditthi), annihilationism (Uccheda-ditthi), inefficacy of action (Akiriya-ditthi), non-causality (Ahetuka ditthi) nihilism (Natthika-ditthi) and so on. The Buddha had to spend a great deal of time answering such questions and tried to put their views right.

 

That’s why in the very first item of the Noble Eightfold Path which is ‘the way’ to find ultimate truth or ultimate enlightenment, the Buddha had to clarify what was meant by the right view or samma-ditthi.

 

To help you have a clearer picture, I will arrange my own words and say that the right view means you must 1) admit at least on the thinking level and 2) preferably have experience gained from the vipassana practice of the following:

1)  The Four Noble Truths – suffering, the cause of suffering, the end of suffering and the path leading to the end of suffering.  

2)  The three characteristics of nature – everything is impermanent (Aniccata), unsatisfactory (Dukkhata) and not self (Anattata).

3)  Dependent origination and cessation on the mind level. In my terms, this has the same meaning as seeing the nature of Nirvana or the innocent world. Therefore, one must believe that the path, the fruit and Nirvana do exist.

4)  The law of kamma and the cycle of rebirth. One must believe that kamma or action yields results. Good kamma gives good result, bad kamma give bad result.

 

According to the above guidelines, you can see that all those items relating to the right view are not subject to debate whatsoever. The Buddha did not tell us to sit down and let’s discuss about the four noble truths and so on. Instead, he told us to admit them first and experience them later by putting them into practice. This is the only format of learning if you want to find ultimate truth. There is no other way that you can get round it. Otherwise how can anyone find out about ultimate truth at all if we spend all our time talking and debating about something when we don’t even know what it looks like? Therefore, you can see the logic of why ultimate truth is not subject to debate whatsoever. As far as searching for the right knowledge is concerned, I hope this can help you to view things with a bit more perspective.

 

That’s why in the Buddhist culture, we have a long tradition of listening attentively to monks whom we believe pass on the Buddha’s words, wisdom and experiences. So, the process of learning Buddhism is listening, taking advice, practising and finding the truth. I suppose it is very much the same with Christianity. Then again, the problem begins to spin around in circles because even monks can make lots of mistakes nowadays as we all know. I think in the end, the key person is your immediate teacher. If you are lucky enough to bump into a real teacher who can guide you all the way to Nirvana, you must know your great fortune and must not let your golden chance slip away by being complacent. Now, how would you know whether your teacher is real or not? I have already talked about the guidelines by which you can judge your meditation teacher both in this book and in my previous one Can a Caterpillar be Perfect? One last tip is that if you meet a real teacher, provided that you put in enough effort, your practice should develop steadily.

  

 

How I run my Tai Chi class

 

This is also the reason why my teaching is the way it is. People who have come through my class know very well that I practically do not give them a chance to talk let alone debate during my Tai Chi sessions. That’s why I have to tell them that they came into my class to learn a mental skill by using Tai Chi and Qi Gong movement as the means as if they were learning the skill of driving, cooking and so on. When you learn a skill, you don’t have to talk much, you keep on doing certain things repeatedly until you master the skill. This is the exact way to learn a skill. When you want to drive, you don’t excessively read the driving manual, you get behind a driving wheel and drive. In this way of teaching, I can help everyone take their first crucial step on a long journey to find ultimate truth. I do not mess around. Should anyone be not happy with this arrangement, they can make up their own minds. I make it very clear that I do not work on numbers. I am very happy just to produce a few good quality ones even though it means just one person.

 

However, being a lay person and trying to propagate the Buddha’s words is not an easy matter in the real world where money is the main issue. I survived teaching at the University of Birmingham because my boss does not interfere with my teaching. As long as my Tai Chi classes are viable for them, they are happy. Whenever there are not enough numbers to run a class, they close it down.  In the past year however, I was also hired by the Birmingham city council and held a Tai Chi class for adult education. The record of attendance was kept and the retention of students was very important for them because they needed to produce good results to ensure a good funding, which I can easily understand. Anyway, half term went by and the number of the students in my Tai Chi class dropped steadily. Someone was sent to assess the way I taught in my class as well as all the material I used which of course are all my books. A week later, I was called in for a little chat and asked to change the strategy of my teaching. They were not happy with my handing out a ‘religious book’ (A Handful of Leaves) and wanted me to ask my students to return them. I took it quite calmly and even promised the lady that I would think about it. Not until I had a chance to digest the whole situation and gave it a good thought, did I realise that there was no way I could compromise with them. Initially it is ironic that they wanted an expert to teach Tai Chi and now they wanted to tell the expert how to do her job. Besides, among a few reasons why they should not have judged me too quickly and blamed my work as a failure, the significant one is that we have reached the time and age that a knower is forced not to speak the word of truth because money has overshadowed it. To propagate the real truth has never been easy even for monks and priests who have the direct role to deal with the right group of people. What chance do I, a lay woman, have in trying to do this difficult job all by myself? It is hard enough even to work with the Buddhists. My role is even harder because I try to help the non-Buddhist who has no interest in Buddhism whatsoever to take some interest in walking this holy path.  Although I think I have done my best by using Tai Chi as a non-religious approach, people still try to push me away. I am afraid they have succeeded to do so too because I am not going back there to teach again. It means that a few people who might have had a glimpse of hope to know the truth would miss out. To me, this is very sad indeed but what choice do I have? I can either work for money or for the Buddha; I cannot have it both ways. I cannot be dictated to about what and how to teach in my territory of knowledge. As far as propagating ultimate truth is concerned, I must stand firmly on my ground even just for the sake of a few people. I just feel very relieved and count my own blessings that my dhamma practice has reached a stage where I can easily make such a decision. Nevertheless, this unfortunate incident also made me feel like wanting to slow down with my work. It does take away some degree of my passion and enthusiasm that I can only hope is only temporary.

 

I don’t know why I want to connect my above experience with this following story I heard from my teacher Tang Mor Seing. Two deities descended from heaven and wanted to help someone who deserved to be helped. They disguised themselves as street vendors selling cooking oil. The judgement day had arrived, the two vendors placed two huge barrels containing cooking oil at the main junction of the market place. Instead of selling them at a low price as they had done in the past few days, they shouted for people to bring their own containers and help themselves. No sooner had the announcement ended than the throng of the crowd rushed to the oil barrels. Everyone tried their best to get the oil out as much as they could manage. The two disguised gods used their magical power to keep the oil going and not drying up no matter how much had been taken out. They noticed that there was hardly anyone there who felt that they should just have what they needed. A lot of them kept on coming back for more. The two divine beings shook their heads, felt hopeless and thought: “these people are too greedy to be helped.”

Finally, there was a man who approached the deities and asked for just one small cup of cooking oil. He insisted that was all he needed. The heavenly beings smiled, followed the man to his house and asked whether he wanted to know the way to heaven. The man answered: “No, I don’t want to know the way to heaven but what I want to know is the secret of how to keep that cooking oil full to the brim in the barrel. If you could tell me that secret, I will be very rich and happy.” The two celestial beings suddenly disappeared into thin air and never returned again.      

 

True and false beliefs do not change the actual facts

 

After reading this book, it isn’t surprising that some of you may still be sceptical about the enlightenment of the Buddha and especially the concept about the cycle of rebirth. The Buddha knew it very well too and he told us the following. This may help you to make up your mind.

 

Fundamentally, the Buddha said that it did not matter what anyone would like to think about his enlightenment and the ultimate truth he had found, it would not change the fact that he had found ultimate truth and that truth would always be there. If you did not want to believe what he said, it would take you a longer time to achieve what you must achieve – reaching Nirvana. If you however believed in what the Buddha said and walked the guided path, you would reach the goal much quicker.

 

The following examples may clarify what the Buddha said. You can believe that the sun rises in the west and sets in the east which we all know is incorrect. However, that false belief doesn’t change the fact that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. You can be stubborn as much as you want when people try to explain to you and change your false view but your false belief will make no difference to the actual fact. The sun always rises in the east and sets in the west.

 

If you want to believe that China is situated at the South Pole, it doesn’t change the fact that China is actually in the northern hemisphere of Asia. However, if you believe correctly, you can get things done much quicker and it doesn’t waste your time. Your wrong belief about the location of China will cause you to waste your time in finding China. You can spend your whole lifetime searching for China at the South Pole but you will never find it. However, if your belief is correct, you will find China in no time at all.

 

You may want to argue that ultimate enlightenment, ultimate truth and the cycle of rebirth are no comparison to the facts about the sun rising in the east and setting in the west nor the location of China because there is no way to prove such a spiritual entity as ultimate truth or paranormal events such as the cycle of rebirth.

 

Indeed, this should make you extra careful whether you want to accept or refuse what the Buddha tried to tell you. I don’t know whether this makes any sense to you or not. It is because there is no way for us to know by ourselves and that’s why the Buddha has spelled it all out for us. I have also tried to convince you from my own experience. If you nevertheless choose to refuse and not believe in the enlightenment of the Buddha, the existence of ultimate truth and the law of kamma, it doesn’t make any different in the slightest to the facts themselves. Ultimate truth is always there regardless of what you think. The law of kamma and the cycle of rebirth still go on working as normal regardless of what you choose to believe. Ultimate truth is not going to disappear only because you don’t believe there is one.  The law of kamma and the cycle of rebirth are not going to stop working only because you think they are total nonsense.

 

The significant point is that if you believe it correctly (samma-ditthi) because the Buddha told you so, you don’t waste your time in spinning round and round samsara. You can get on with your practice and get yourself out of this misery of samsara as quickly as you can. Or at the very least, you will make sure that you are not doing the bad kamma which may send you straight to the lower realms. You can see that most people are willing to bear the unnecessary suffering that they could have avoided, should their belief about the goal of life be correct in the first place. So, there is a great deal of difference between the right view (samma–ditthi) and the false view (miccha-ditthi). 

 

They can be proven

 

Anyway, who said ultimate truth and the cycle of rebirth cannot be proven? If you talk about proving the existence of ultimate truth and the cycle of rebirth in a scientific way using a laboratory, putting substances in test tubes and so on, it is true that you cannot do it by using such scientific means. Nevertheless, this is the whole point that I am trying to get across to the intellectual world. Buddhism has been reputed for being scientific and a challenge to any proof because being scientific is indeed the nature of Buddhist practice. The Buddha said this himself and not his followers. You can actually prove the existence of ultimate truth and the cycle of rebirth. But of course, we have to agree on some ground rules first. In the same way that scientists need scientific language to reveal the relevant truths in our natural environment, you also need to use the right language and approach to reveal ultimate truth and the cycle of rebirth. It means that if you want to find ultimate truth, you cannot use mathematics and neither can you use the process of reasoning as you have done to confirm your scientific theory. Basically, you cannot use your intellect to find out the location of ultimate truth. This is the most difficult barrier for any intellectual to get past and that’s why the world will always have persons like the clever man I talked about above. If you want to find ultimate truth which is right here in front of you, you must use wisdom. Wisdom and intellect are not the same thing. They are different entities. I shall explain this clearly in the second part of this book when I talk about the five elements which aggregate our life form of body and mind. Anyway, the required language and approach is indeed the vipassana practice or the four foundations of awareness. This sole practice is the source of wisdom which can help you to reveal ultimate truth and the subsequent law of kamma.

 

Can you see that the content of the first part of this book only comes as far as trying to get you to admit the fact of using this new language so that you can prove it for yourself? If you cannot agree on using the Buddha’s language (vipassana practice), there is no way you can truly find ultimate truth. You may talk about it, but you won’t have a clue what you are talking about.

 

To read or not to read

 

I often come across students who are very confused as to whether or not they should read books on Buddhism because sometimes they are told to read but sometimes not to read. I will make it very clear to you now. There are in fact two separate stages of learning and finding out where ultimate truth is.

 

The first stage is to find out the knowledge on the thinking level. If you come from a non-Buddhist background and know nothing about Buddhism, how can you find out about the Buddha’s enlightenment if you do not read? Indeed you must read extensively at this stage and find out as many facts as possible about Buddhism. Once you read, you will find out that life has an ultimate goal to fulfil which is the same thing as finding ultimate truth, attaining Nirvana, putting an end to suffering or getting out of samsara for good. When you read a bit more, you also find out the way you can achieve the ultimate goal of life which is by engaging yourself in vipassana practice or the four foundations of awareness. So, you can see that without reading the relevant books, there is no way you can possibly find out about all those things. Therefore, at this stage, you must read.

 

Then again, a problem occurs. Just simply finding out information at this stage can be very confusing too. The state of ignorance is no fun at all; dark and confusing. That is because every book you read can offer you different things, emphasise different issues and put importance on different subjects and practices. Some experts may say that you must practise morality first and then meditation and then wisdom. But some may say oh…no, that is incorrect, you must practise wisdom first and then meditation and morality. Then, you have the Mahayana tradition which emphasises practising the Bodhisattava or sainthood idealism and the Theravadin tradition which encourages you to reach enlightenment as quickly as you can. Not to mention about the 84,000 dhamma topics in the Pali canon. You can see that it is very easy to get caught up in the dhamma jungle.

 

This is exactly what happened to me during my student years when I was first interested in Buddhism. I read a great deal at that time and I ended up being even more confused than before I went into it. Living in a Buddhist country means that you can go straight into the meditation practice right away while you are still trying to get the concepts right in your head. Having tried many meditation schools which offered different techniques of meditation only added more confusions. This is the lingering stage that can get quite annoying and most frustrating.    

 

My advice to you at this difficult stage is that you should stick to the book and advice that is most appealing to you or makes most impression on you. That should be a good start for you. Not every Buddhist author is a teacher at the same time. Vice versa, not every Buddhist teacher is a Buddhist author. In the latter case, the books produced by the teachers who do not write are in fact the speeches or the actual vocal teaching of those teachers. The one who can systematically write Buddhist texts as well as teaching meditation is rare. In this case, one needs to be an intellectual as well as being wise. I will personally pay more attention to the teacher who can teach but cannot write. Many prominent Thai monks in the past who could teach so successfully, could not read or write. Pra Ajahn Mun Puritatto, Luang Por Cha, Luang Por Tien all came from a peasant background. These are the types of teachers who can guide people from their experience which is much more effective. As for those who can write Buddhist or dhamma books but do not know how to teach, they can easily pluck out information from here and there and make it into their own books. They always have to use the second level of language which is normally very dull, dry and tasteless; there is no freshness and life in their words.

 

I don’t mean to offend anyone in particular. The fact is that there are many westerners going into Buddhist countries and spending some time in monasteries either as lay persons or monks, and they are so keen to come home and write Buddhist texts based on their experiences. I must warn you about this. There are some who genuinely know what they are talking about but there are also some who do not have a clue. Please remember that even the born Buddhists still find Buddhism difficult once they get into the practice. It is even more difficult for the non-Buddhists to tune into those new concepts of life. Please be very careful when you choose to read a dhamma book.

 

Anyway my suggestion is that you stick to the book or rather the teacher who can inspire you most. Once you have the inspiration to begin with, everything else after that will be a bit easier. You do need that initial inspiration to help you through the difficult path later on.

 

The second stage is the actual practice. Let’s suppose that you know exactly what Buddhism is all about on the thinking or rather reading level. Let’s say you also agree wholeheartedly to everything that the Buddha said. Now, you are ready to give it a go. You want to take part in the practice and you can also find a meditation teacher who can help you with the first step of a long journey to Nirvana. This is the stage that you must lay off your dhamma books. People who come as far as this stage, normally have great interest in the details of meditation experiences and not the wide scope of Buddhism which they used to pay attention to. The part of the Pali canon that can offer such details is the Abhidhamma which is classed as the Buddhist metaphysics.

 

At this stage, all meditation teachers especially those who have glimpses of Nirvana, will tell their students not to read at all. Not to read any texts at all is a strict rule of most meditation schools in Thailand. This is very much the case when you take part in a meditation retreat. It is best to stop reading altogether while you are in retreat and concentrate purely on the practice.

 

That is because reading at this crucial stage can bar the wisdom from arising. Intellect and wisdom use the same airport to exercise their ability and to land. The airport is the mind. If the mind is used for the exercise of intellect, wisdom will have to back down. Vice versa, if the mind is used for the exercise of wisdom, intellect will have to back down. Intellect and wisdom cannot share the same ground (mind). Reading even dhamma books at the time of practising vipassana can generate the exercise of intellect and therefore prevent the arising of wisdom. This is the stage when you are told repeatedly not to think and to let go of your thoughts always. Some teachers even tell you to burn your holy books if you want to see the real truth. This is the most difficult stage for people who are hooked on holy texts.

 

All this will be made clear in the second part of this book. In the mean time, it is quite enough to know that reading any books whilst the vipassana practice is going on, is not a very good idea. Nevertheless, reading the dhamma books which can help you to understand the different stages you are going through can be quite useful from time to time. But it means that you must know how to throw those echoing words away in your head to let the real truth manifest itself. Don’t forget that the real dhamma will generate from your own mind as long as the practice is correct. So, even though you don’t read the dhamma books extensively, you can still understand what is going on especially when you hit the real truth.

 

Ultimate truth is self-knowledge

 

Remember that ultimate truth is self-knowledge, wholesome and is absolute in itself, it has the ability to make the owner know that this is it or this is the one. This knowledge (nana) allows you to confirm yourself by yourself which makes a lot of sense. You do not need anyone else to confirm for you which is impossible anyway. This knowledge will allow you to be a real spiritual leader if you have the other supporting abilities to be one. This is the stage when the Buddha exclaimed to himself that the knowledge (nana) about the four noble truths had happened to him. All enlightened ones will have to go through the moment of exclamation to themselves when the ultimate knowledge (nana) happens or is revealed to them.  

 

If you are still hit with confusion about reading at the second stage, my final advice is for you to put the book down and work on the vipassana instead. I hope this explanation can help you to eliminate your frustration and that you know when to read and when not to read.

 

Final words

 

We have finally reached the end of the first part of this book. I really hope that my effort so far is enough for you to make up your mind whether or not you want to pursue the second part of this book.

 

I wish you all the best of luck in making the right choice.